We all have many personas, we wear them in all different situations, and mostly we switch from one to the other without much cognitive effort.
But what about when an important aspect of the Self must be constantly on guard deciding either to, reveal or conceal who you are, depending upon the situation? It can become mentally exhausting.
This mental exhaustion comes from the shame and judgement placed upon the LGBTQ+ communities from wider societies heteronormative and cisnormative expectations.
Recognising and acknowledging that it’s not our shame, allows us to distance ourselves from it and to not internalise these negative attitudes. Internalising others shame can lead to mental health concerns such as anxiety, depression, addictive behaviours, and suicide ideation.
I don’t know about you or where you are in story of becoming your authentic Self, but I spent so long finding and becoming my true and authentic Self, that I don’t want to be hidden behind societies persona of shame they have placed upon me/us and to protect their comfort levels.
I just want to be me!!!!
One of the hardest things for those questioning their sexual orientation or gender, no matter how old you are, is finding someone to
talk to who understands what
you may be going through.
even when you've found that person you feel might be safe to talk to, and trust with this deepest inner most part of Self, it can still be scary and overwhelming to speak those words out loud to another person,
let alone to yourself.
"I was lucky enough to eventually find that person who allowed me the space and time to explore that aspect of Self, someone who had been there before me. I want to be that person for others who are questioning, exploring or even those who are concealing their authentic sexual orientation or gender, someone you can talk to without fear of judgement or rejection, a safe harbour in what can be at the time a very scary and stormy ocean." Carolyn Rogers - Counsellor
If you are questioning, exploring, concealing or ready to disclose your authentic sexual orientation and/or gender to self and others, but not sure who to speak with please reach out to Carolyn at Obsidian.
Private and confidential* counselling
Obsidian Counselling – Breaking down the barriers to inclusive mental health care for the LGBTQ+ Communities
At Obsidian we look at mental health well-being a little differently and we think outside the square when it comes to supporting you and your unique concerns.
We offer you holistic - body-mind, and person-centred support and look at everything that may be impacting on your mental health, the biological, psychological and social, not just your 'symptoms'. We don't 'medicalise' normal everyday occurrences that may be causing you distress in the short-term.
We also know that not every type of therapeutic technique suits each individual person's unique situation, so we won't put you into a 'therapy box' we tailor our therapy style to suit you. If somethings not working for you, then we are happy to adjust our style so you get the best outcome for you.
We offer 2 main services:
~ Counselling for mental health well-being - full 1 hour session, no 'therapeutic 45-minute' hour
~ Chats for Mental Health - 30 minute session, for psycho-social support
The best bits about talking with Carolyn Rogers - Registered Counsellor (she/her):
~ NO GP visit required, book directly
~ None to Minimal waiting times
~ University educated in both psychology and counselling
~ Registration with a professional organisation PACFA
~ Works under a Code of Ethics
~ Uses evidenced based therapeutic modalities
~ Completes ongoing professional development and supervision
~ Not restricted by the number of sessions or modality used
~ Private & Confidential
~ No need to wait 3-6 months for an appointment
~ Lower out of pocket expenses
~ Did I mention you have choice?
Ready to try something different and outside of the square to support your mental health?
Have you ever wondered why you can’t think rationally or make even the easiest decisions when you’re anxious, stressed or overwhelmed with emotions?
There is the complicated neurobiological explanation...
But I prefer the (hopefully) uncomplicated explanation:
Think of your brain as having three separate but interconnected parts, the Rational, the Emotional and the Survival Brain. All 3 parts have important functions and roles to play, usually they get along well together and mostly you don’t notice what they are up to.
Now think of trying to hotspot your laptop, you need your phone or a modem, laptop, and a Wi Fi signal, 3 separate but interconnected things you need to be able to hotspot. With just one of these things being busy elsewhere, you will have low or no Wi Fi connection (think everyone else using the internet at once).
This is what happens in our brain when we become anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed, we lose the Wi Fi signal between our Rational and Emotional Brains. The Emotional Brain starts running the show followed very closely by the Survival Brain, think Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn. When the Emotional Brain is in charge, it can make even the simplest tasks or decisions seem impossible to complete eg 1 + 1 = 2; cereal or toast? And it loves to take your thoughts to the extreme.
But there are ways to bring your Rational Brain back online with some tools and strategies to assist you recognise when you are becoming, stressed, anxious or overwhelmed.
Just like having a toolbox full of hammers, screwdrivers, nails and pliers is essential to fix the things around the house,
having a toolbox full of different strategies for your mental health well-being is essential as well.
The simplest tool to put in your mental health toolbox is Belly Breathing, it's great for a range of concerns, and can relieve anxiety, stress, and overwhelm it costs nothing and can be implemented anywhere, no matter what you're doing
How to Belly Breathe:
Take a big deep breath in through the nose, and as you do, feel the air go in through your nostrils, feel the rise of your chest and notice as the breath travels to and fills your lungs and then imagine it travelling all the way to your belly button. When it reaches your belly button, slowly release the air out through your mouth or nostrils and feel the breath as it leaves your body. Repeat until your mind and body feel calmer.
If you would like to learn more strategies to put in your mental health toolbox, please reach out and book an appointment.
See the Obsidian website for more details including fees and other FAQs, the online booking link can also be accessed from the website
Professional support is available for your mental health well-being with Carolyn Rogers - Registered Counsellor at Obsidian.
The misconception that the only way to access support for your mental health is via your GP, is exactly that, a misconception.
Not everyone with a mental health concern needs a 'diagnosis', sometimes life just impacts on you to the point that you may not be able to cope. You just need or want someone to listen, support and hear you.
~ All new client's can be seen within 7 days of initial contact
~ No waiting list
~ Get the support you need now, not in 3-6 months once the crisis has passed (or worse)
~ Fee paying service
~ Professional, qualified, private and confidential counselling available
If you are currently on a long waitlist elsewhere, please consider the option of speaking with a Registered Counsellor in the interim, don't let your mental health deteriorate because of a broken mental health care system in Australia.
The most important thing is for you to reach out and speak with someone.